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"I'm really not that different, you just made me think so."
What's up?mood: incoherent |
My yesterdays....
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2003-04-04 - 4:20 p.m. -
"No tengo novio, no tengo amor..."
Insane. That is all I have to say and I will say it again. Insane. Now I will refute what I just said by proving that, in fact, it is not all I have to say. I feel like once again I am thrown into a situation where I am forced to age prematurely. And yet, I feel like age has nothing to do with it. I look and I see an awkward, nervous little boy. It's cute and it's scary. I don't warrant the attention and affection that I am receiving. I feel like an ingrate. I feel like a princess. I feel like a little kid fumbling through the first game when she's only played scrimmages. And then when it's late at night and my medicine starts to wear off I start thinking about him and I feel regrets and I feel angry with myself and I start second guessing and I just want to go to sleep asap and then wake up and be sane again. It's horrible. I love going to sleep at three only to be woken up at 6:30 by one of your places of employment asking if you can be there in thirty minutes. Nine hour days are fun, let me tell you that. Although, I don't know why I am bothered by a nine hour day when several days a week I work 12 hour days. Ahh well, such is life. Wow. All I do is bitch, bitch, bitch. I'm stopping now. I think that right now I am content, and perhaps better than content. I am going to...nap methinks. Check you later, Jenn |