Emenius Sleepus

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She..she screams in silence..a sullen riot penetrating through her mind...We...wait for a sign to smash the silence with the brick of self-control---Are you locked up in a world that's been planned out for you? Are you feeling like a social tool without any use? Scream at me until my ears bleed, I'm taking heed just for you--She...she's figured out..all her doubts are someone else's point of view..We...walking up to smash the silence with the brick of self-control--------

News

"I'm really not that different, you just made me think so."

What's up?

mood:
now playing: green day-dominated love slave
vocabulary:

My yesterdays....

Que paso? - 2006-09-10

Bah humbug. - 2006-01-16

I'm married. - 2005-09-01

In and around the lake... - 2005-07-22

I'll be the roundabout... - 2005-07-11

Previous - I wish the real world would just stop hassling me.

Next - "No tengo novio, no tengo amor..."

2003-04-03 - 1:24 p.m. - I'll regret this later, but it had to be done.

So it's over and I still love him. I still want to make him happy, but I now know that I can't make him happy and I have made my peace with that. All that I can do is be there for him when he wants to be happy and leave him the hell alone all the other times. I think it's better this way. But damn, I love the bastard. I love him with all my heart.

I'd like to say it's the medicine. I'd like to say that me becoming un-crazy is what made me do it. I always thought that his problems were mine. I felt incredible guilt. I don't feel that guilt anymore. My eyes were opened and I saw what everyone else saw from the very beginning.

I feel stupid. I feel like a little spiked heel vixen. But looking in the mirror I realize I am in no way little :P

But what I do realize is that I deserve to be happy...all the time.

I realize that I love my friends. They are wonderful and it's not right to have someone who comes between you and your friends for any reason.

I don't know where I would be without my friends.

I am going to go work out now, clear my head. I've been having trouble eating and I figure that might help.

Check you later,

Jenn