News

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"I'm really not that different, you just made me think so."

What's up?

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mood: frustrated
now playing: no doubt-spiderwebs
vocabulary: opuestos

My yesterdays....

• Que paso? - 2006-09-10

I just want to scream argh. I am in over my head. I have had a headache all day from sleep deprivation because I am staying up late without the benefit of being able to take naps. I had to make 10 copies of each page of a 103 page booklet today, and then separate them all into the 10 new booklets. It was amusing. Just to spice it up, I had to combine some pages back to back. In turn for this work I received huge compliments on my Spanish and a girl helped me with my homework (which was describing a place I was too lazy(or too tired) to go visit).

I am not sad about the job. I like working for free and I like the people I have met and the practice I am getting. I am just....crazy. Categorically insane. Certifiable. I still have that headache.

Me duele de cabeza!!

I am so frustrated and confused about so many things. The thoughts going through my head today were absurd and I am not sure why I even entertained them for as little time as I did. Ah well, such is life.

I hate playing games. I hate feeling like I am being forced to play games when there is no game to be played. I called Rosario and she did not answer so I am no longer obligated to come over tonight? I love her for being such a great friend but I feel like passing out right now, barely past 7 and not waking up until I absolutely have to for class tomorrow. Actually, I feel like taking a shower, and reading as much as possible of Crossroads of Twilight before I pass out. Last night I thought about sleeping all night, but never put the thought into action. I should have taken something but I kept thinking, "No, it is unnecessary..any minute now I am going to fall asleep." It just never happened. And so it goes.

I came home to read a note from Rachael on my bed that says she may not be going to Punta del Este this weekend afterall. Now I have the problem of whether or not I am supposed to call Edison and tell him it's off, or think that I can do it anyway. If Rachael is not there and he brings his friend Fabian then Fabian will be left out, because evidently we are "novios" and he is not part of this nation of two. I really don't know what's going on myself. But if Fabian does not go, then it is even -more- complicated because it would be just Edison and me and who invites someone to a beach resort alone except for a hussy who wants to get laid? Rachael thinks I need to become a hussy who wants to get laid, and I beg to differ. I must hold on to my principals. I am sure some people reading this might be saying, "Don't kid yourself, you don't have any," but despite whatever mistakes I have made in the past...I have learned from them..the hard way.

Now, I am going to break every rule in the book and go call him. Maybe he can shed some light on the matter. If he can't, fuck it. I am going alone. Maybe 10 hours in a jacuzzi with a good book will solve my stress.

Check you later,

Jenn