News

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"I'm really not that different, you just made me think so."

What's up?

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mood: hungry
now playing: green day-1,039 smoothed out slappy hous
vocabulary: malevolent

My yesterdays....

• Que paso? - 2006-09-10

How do you explain to someone who claims to love you that you aren't worth shit?

What's wrong? You seem preoccupied for the last few days.

I don't know how to control my insecuirities anmore--my fears. When I think I have said or done something wrong then I feel horrible and then because I feel horrible I hate myself and then I shut up and look away because I feel so guilty and ashamed that I can't look him in th eyes or say anything because anything I say will not undo it an will probably only make it worse. The only problem is...it appears that maybe every time I fuck up I never did at all. It seems that maybe I am just in one of those over-sensitive moods where any statement that I can take to be an attack on me is.

Maybe this is natural. Maybe these are those female mood swings everyone talks about that I seem to think I am immune to. I dunno. All I know is that I want to make sure he knows I love him at all times, regardless of whether or not I can put on a happy front. Sometimes I just stare because I am thinking really hard and I am having fun, yes, and entertained, yes, but I just don't think to show it. Laughing is a very voluntary reaction for me, I only do it when I want to and think about it first.

Ahhhh well. I'm psycho.

I am going to go have a class discussion in Biology this morning and then I am going to come home and sleep, dammit.

Chck you later,

Jenn