News

-

"I'm really not that different, you just made me think so."

What's up?

---

mood: bummed
now playing: collective soul-why song 2?
vocabulary: blargh

My yesterdays....

• Que paso? - 2006-09-10

So now I have gotten used to staying up until 4 am and sleeping in until 12:30. This is not good. I won't be able to go to sleep tonight and I have an 8:00 class tomorrow..I think. But they extended curfew to 2 am through Tuesday for Carnaval so if I would like to be sleep deprived then I do have the option. I can go to a late movie or go out and actually watch Carnaval or run around and wreak havoc upon this foreign world.

Unfortunately, I haven't cared much lately about anything. I don't know if being abroad has just lust its lustre or I am just going through a funk. Perhaps everything now seems mundane compared to my traveling plans I have. Perhaps I am too apprehensive about this summer to be able to relax lately. My cousin is getting married to this guy that I have met a few times and who I am told treats her like a child. Ok, my cousin kind of sounds and acts like a ditz but she is very intelligent and he has no reason to talk down to her or mock her, even if he supposedly doesn't mean it. So the wedding is June 26th and my mom is asking if she needs to buy me a plane ticket..so it seems I am going to California once again.

Well, there's a problem with that because I already am planning to go to New Jersey and it is very important to me. I also told Chris I would drive to Las Vegas with him. Now, my roommate is going to Vegas for her 21st birthday on May 26th so it would be cool to go then but that would mean starting my job after my trip to Jersey...taking off right after I started...taking off a month later...I am so torn.

I also need to square away everything having to do with me transferring. If I were really lucky then Morgan would agree he should be in L.A. for his film major and transfer there and then I would just go to Pepperdine and be near my brother and have a friend and be set for life. But, I do not think that is going to happen.

I suppose a lot of my unsettledness has to do with having no idea what I want. I feel like every once in a while my life requires some sort of drastic change anywhere from shaving my head to dating a psycho latino to going to Uruguay to switching jobs to switching majors to switching schools. I just get bummed and hope a change of scenery will fix it. Unfortunately, I have gotten bummed and cannot really change the scenery here. Sure I can go away for the weekend to somewhere and maybe I will, but that won't fix it. I need to understand my own feelings.

I feel so helpless being way over here. I am stuck in a house with a bunch of girls, half of whom I really just want to go away. Ok, it is 1:30 and I should be taking advantage of my last day off before I have to start doing all the homework I have been putting off. Maybe I should go to the beach again. I know I need to at least go to the store. Perhaps I will get dressed and do that now. It is 1:30 and I haven't done a darn thing today.

I will take a big long walk and go souvenir shopping, that always make me feel better. I have so many people to buy for that it's not even funny.

Check you later,

jenn