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"I'm really not that different, you just made me think so."

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My yesterdays....

• Que paso? - 2006-09-10

I had the most fucked up dream the night before last and it really messed me up. I dreamed that I had gone back in time and I was shopping in a store and I saw Sean. This was after I broke up with him sometime in the period where he was refusing to answer or return my calls. I walked up to him and I started to explain that he nees to listen to me and that I know what is going to happen and he just needs to be willing to talk to me so I can tell him what he's going to do and how he's going to digress and that he doesn't need to feel in a way that would cause such an outcome. I told him I would do whatever it takes to make him realize that he doesn't need to do that. Then the dream jumped back to the future and I was sitting in a house laying Risk or watching a movie with people who were friends with Sean and one of them looked through the little peephole in the door and said, "Sean's here," just like that, like he was just joining our party for the evening. He was still with us. When I woke up I was happy until I realized it was a fucking dream and I was sadder than I have ever been in probably over a year. Why why why. I hate my subconscious.