| Jenneration X! |
| quizzes |
| diaryland |
| rings |
| my profile |
| random entry |
| older entries |
| e-mail me |
News -
"I'm really not that different, you just made me think so."
What's up?mood: frustrated |
My yesterdays....
|
| Previous - If I live without you I live without love. | Next - Run run run. |
|
2003-03-01 - 8:22 p.m. -
I know that you're going to have it your way or nothing at all.
Goddamn fucking shit fucker bitch ass fuck! No amount of expletives can make me feel better right now. I just hate it that I can't do for him what he does for me--erase all the bad. And I know it's not my fucking job to be the world to him and make him feel good, but I just feel that if I were what I should be then I -would- make him feel all good inside no matter what is happening on the outside. So, I have two weeks. A lot can happen in two weeks. I could make...600 dollars in two weeks. I could lose 20 pounds in two weeks. I could withdraw from school in two weeks. I could turn 19 in two weeks. I intend to do all of these...because I don't have anything else to do. I mean why the hell not? I'll work out, I'll work, and I will be happy and I will not feel deficient and I will not feel that I am in err, because goddammit he loves me and I love him and I am just going to let him be cranky because I understand that there are so many reasons to hate the world and to let stress take over. I just hope he'll let me love him again sometime soon. It's my favorite thing to do. For now...I think I'll have a drink. |