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"I'm really not that different, you just made me think so."

What's up?

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mood: morose
now playing: self-so low
vocabulary: jolly

My yesterdays....

• Que paso? - 2006-09-10

It's funny when you analyze your thoughts. Today I am stuck at home because I promised that if I were allowed out yesterday then I would stay at home all day today. It's boring. I think about Sean and then I miss him and then I wonder...does he miss me?

Ther was a time when I know he felt I was the highlight of his day. I'm not new anymore. I don't even think I'm still special. Of course I would say I never was. It's like when Furbys were cool. When they are all new and exciting we play with them and then they just get old and they don't do any new tricks or say any new things. I feel like an old Furby? Hrm.

I just wish that I still made him as happy as I used to. But, it's inconceivable to me that I can bring happiness or joy to anyone. I just really liked it when he made me think I did.

I like him to enjoy the time spent just with me, no matter what we're doing--even shopping.

I want him to pick me over playing cards with Brian, just once--as if that is ever going to happen.

I guess everyone wants to feel that to someone he/she is the most important thing in that someone's life.

He'll always do it He'll always do what I ask/request, grudgingly and resentfully. I just wish that what I want is what he wants. Booo.

He is very sweet, I just expect too much sometimes, I guess.

Bah. I hate being stuck at home.

I am going to go put together my bookshelf I bought yesterday.

That sounds good.

Check you later,

Jenn