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News -
"I'm really not that different, you just made me think so."
What's up?mood: very very very tired |
My yesterdays....
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2004-02-02 - 12:38 a.m. -
Well I guess this is growing up.
Ok, so, where did I leave off... Saturday night I went out with my roommate to meet her boyfriend and his friends. It just so turns out that they looooove all of the same music that I do so his friends and I talked about music and bands and songs and even sang some for hours and hours. A little later I got kind of weirded out though when I felt like a 5th wheel and kind of made a fool out of myself, but Roberto said his offer to host a mad wild birthday party for me at his apartment still stands. He was really hot, but also very short and very little. He did like some cool music though and he told me that I was badass and that I will serve as his music informer. I had some memory problems though and it was very embarrassing. I spent a lot of the night going, "what's his name.." or "what's it called.." or "how does it go..." I kind of passed out and back in and back out a while on a beanbag chair watching tomb raider (the first) and then later some other stuff that I am not really aware of watching. I know anytime anyone came in the room I said, "I'm awake," but that is really all I remember. Today I baked chocolate chip cookies and then went to Rosario's for lunch and brought my roommate, Rachel, with me. It was a lot of fun. I had her bring me back to the house though because some guys were playing soccer in the gym at the church at 3 and I had been invited to play, but warned that they play rough. I brought Augustin with me and I swear they were probably fighting over who had to have me on their team, because Augustin kicks ass. But, they did cheer for me every single time I did something well. If I passed, blocked, or headed a ball I got praise from someone. I think I even have some assists, but I made a LOT of mistakes and though maybe they appreciate my trying to play, I feel like more of a hindrance. I was happy for Augustin because he said he had a really good time. I think it was cool for him to get to hang out with older guys who seemed to really be impressed with his soccer skills. That boy is way too hot to be thirteen. After soccer we went and visited a statue of Yemanja, the sea goddess. Tomorrow, February 2nd is her day and everyone goes to the beach to make offerings to try to receive blessings. They float these thingies out to see and walk backwards to the beach and if it is returned then the request was denied and if not, then you have her blessing. People cook foods that she is known to like, make offerings of jewelry, and candles and fruit. It should be very interesting tomorrow night. After the statue we went to the park and Augustin, Rachel, and I went paddle boating and it was very peaceful. I think I learned some new words. I was mildly disturbed by the worm that I found in my peach. I hope Rosario was not embarrassed by it. She is not responsible for the peach. I felt bad because she bought a whole bunch of fruit just for me and I had a worm in my fruit and all I could think of was whether or not she felt pain because of it. I really could have cared less. I am glad I did not eat it, but had I eaten it and not known it then it wouldn't have made a difference. I even kept eating the peach. I honestly did not care, but I still feel bad. I guess I really am too sensitive. My roommate's boyfriend, Daniel, kept screaming, "You are so sensible!.....sensitive....sensi-tive." Because I kept apologizing for everything. I don't know when this whole "sorry" kick started but I really just feel shitty when I even think I might have put anyone out at all. At least I know I am conscious of other people's feelings, but I suppose that anything in excess is a bad thing. I need to learn to be selfish. I need to learn to just step out and go for what I want, rather than waiting to see if it happens to fall into my lap. So after paddle boating we went back to the apartment and chatted for a while and then I returned home to promptly shower and watch the Super Bowl on ESPN americas latinas. I watched the whole super bowl in spanish..and what a game it was! The only thing that could have made that game better is if the Panthers had won. And they came so close. If only that damn kicker could have choked one more time, we'd have had a chance..but alas. I guess it validates the loss of the Titans to the Patriots, so I am over it. I still have not gone clubbing. I mean, ok, I went to a club, but I mean outside of a group that includes my professor and others that may frown on taking advantage of the bar section of the club. If I am going to dance..it's going to take something to make me start. I have never danced in a club. We got so comfortable last night that we never left...perhaps the several shotguns I administered contributed, but I plead the fifth. Ok, this is an incredibly long entry and if you've made it this far then I am proud to call you friend. Check you later, Jenn My heart is with Chris and his family tonight. I think sad things have a stronger effect on our memory than the good things that return our smiles. |