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"I'm really not that different, you just made me think so."

What's up?

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mood: Anger and fierce rage
now playing: Soulfly
vocabulary: hatred

My yesterdays....

• Que paso? - 2006-09-10

If there is one person in this world that I truly hate..it's her. Does she really think that every little thing revolves around her? Does she really think that it's jealousy? Is she really -that- conceited? It makes me sick. It makes me sick that she has to force herself into people's lives where she is not wanted and she is not needed. It makes me sick that she has to say that the reason she's not wanted is because she's just so fucking wanted that we're all so jealous. Yep, that's it, we're afraid that if she's around then we don't stand a chance. When the truth of the matter is..any guy who would want her I have no fucking interest in. It tells something about a guy when he likes her. If Nick wondered why I stopped liking him..it's because I realized that although he played the victim for a while and I wanted to believe it because I wanted to like him more than I really did...he got himself into his own mess by liking her and I can't respect anyone who put that much stock into pursuing pure shit. No respect left, none at all. That's why no matter how many apologies I get from Jamie he'll still be the dumbass that went after the super slut who thinks she's a god who is full of empty promises. And then when she shatters before him the last of what she was to him...he still drools after her like a lost puppy. I'm not jealous. I don't want the dumb bastard. You can have him. He's not worth shit to me. He'd be worth something if he woke up one day and said to your face what you really are. He'd be an o.k. guy if he didn't have such thick headed delusions of grandeur. He'd be an ok guy if he would be himself instead of feeling like he's got to pretend to be some super-fly suave machine guy. It's like he thinks he's got to be a fucking John Trimble when people don't hang out with him for a John Trimble...they want Jamie...or what Jamie used to be before she started him on his little ego trip. There aren't any more people I respect who actually like her so I can't be mad at anyone else. Damn. And I was on a roll too. If she died tomorrow I'd smile the largest smile imaginable. I think I'd bake a cake.

Maybe I've said something I'll regret later. After all, I drank some oddly blue liquified bubble gum and I am quite nauseous. But, regardless of how deep the hate runs....she's hurt too many people I care about and messed up too many perfectly good guys who were awesome until they fell (and on occasion jumped) into her clutches. I just wish she'd leave well enough alone and stop prancing around like the queen bee. For the love of cheese.

I'm going to bed now. I thought I was rid of this shit but until her stupid, cocky bitch face is four hours away haunting Knoxville then I'll not be rid of her. And even then..her evil stench will still feel any place where I've driven near her on a street or accidentally seen her at a store...*shudder*

Good night.