News

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"I'm really not that different, you just made me think so."

What's up?

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mood: pessimistic
now playing: Reel Big Fish-Beer
vocabulary: sake..say that word enough and it starts looking like it's spelled wrong..like it doesn't belong..anywhere

My yesterdays....

• Que paso? - 2006-09-10

Well..let's see...today. What is the next step in my pathetically anal life? Today I woke far too early and then sat around filling out a ridiculously long and pointlessly futile survey that you can see here. Then I hung out with a friend. We went driving around for old time's sake then dug into some Chili's bottomless tostada chips. Fun times. I picked up my immunization records from my old school and then went in a never-ending search for Redvines. My friend had no idea what Redvines were and I tried to explain in an admonitory tone that they were a lot like twizzlers only ten times better. I used to use them as straws all the time. When I got home I searched the internet and at redvines.com I can buy an entire tub of redvines for 8.99 or I can get the sampler pack which includes red licorice, regular licorice and other flavors and sizes of Redvines. I am ecstatic. The internet is my friend. There was also a store locator where I could find the stores in my areas that sell redvines. Wal-mart does, Target does. Wheee. I am so going to have to buy some..when I get more money. I have been cruising eBay to see what I've got that is selling and so far..I have nothing of value to anyone in this world. I could sell my signed Weezer cd but even those are not selling all that well. I could sell my heart...but it's so torn and ragged that no one really wants it these days. It malfunctions..frequently and without warning.

I also bought a cheesecake as a celebration for my friends and their achievement on various AP tests. Lisa rocks. I knew she could do it. Yes, today was the day. Amelie came out on video. We watched it tonight while chowing down on food that is going to put us all in early graves. They loved the movie. Then..the question that started another of Jenn's rants..."Did this movie win anything?" NO. Despite the fact that it was a -French- film somehow nominated for 5 academy awards...it couldn't even manage to win Best Foreign Film eventhough it was the only foreign film to be nominated in other categories. My theory is that the dumbass Americans were jealous of the fact that France spit out this awesome movie that they couldn't even begin to compare to so they bitterly didn't give it anything. Well, that and the fact that most of the people in Hollywood don't know what good film is so they probably didn't even see the damn thing. It is perhaps the best movie I have ever seen and ever will see. Ok, my Amelie propaganda is complete for the evening.

I e-mailed 3 different people today and not a one of them e-mailed me back. I feel...disappointed and down-hearted. An e-mail..is good to receive every once in a while. Nick is just about the only friend I have that e-mails me, and even then it's once in a blue moon but it means so much to me. No wonder I am so spastic about guestbook signings. I like to feel recognized..I like to know that people are out there. I like to try to convince myself that I have friends...and it's hard to do that without phone calls and e-mails and whatnots. The most charming phone call I have had in a long time was:

"Hey, I just got some dank, you wanna go out and smoke a couple bowls?"

I pleasantly declined. Woe is me. No, I don't work tomorrow either and it will be spent making a scrapbook of the life I used to have..or thought I had. Perhaps it really did only exist in my mind, that I convinced myself that I had a life until my cynicism finally grew large enough to quell any sense of happiness.

Ahhh, well. Brian is being a little nicer since last time we hung out I told him I hate him and he's an asshole. I don't think people realize how much their actions...or lack thereof...truly affect the people around them who care about them and seek reciprocation. It's my life story.

That brings me to another sour note. Relationships...the missing link between Jenn and the great orb of happiness floating just out of reach. Hmm, the word orb just reminded me that I had a dream of walking through a store with half price Halloween goods. Fun times. Anywho, yeah, it has come to the point where I think that just about any guy who has a brain in his head is attractive no matter what. He could be 19, bald, and missing limbs but if he's intelligent then I am available to be his for no down payment and low monthly fees....those being..love in return. But alas, no one. Perhaps I am intimidating. I was intending to ask my co-worker Cam if I am intimidating. he comes and talks to me now instead of me going and talking to him. He's a sweet kid, quiet but sweet.

One ray of sunshine in my life is that Morgan and Steve may be coming to visit me from New Jersey in a couple weeks. It probably won't end up happening but it's the thought that counts. I adore both of them, they rock. Morgan loves awesome movies and is very down to earth and Steve, well, we broke up and have still managed to remain friends so that rocks. He's a very sweet guy, he's about 6 inches shorter than I am, but very sweet and adorable. I want to be sweet but then I'd have to completely re-arrange my entire personality. Yep.

Ok, I am reading a good book now-a-days so I am going to skee-daddle.

Check you later,

Jenn