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She..she screams in silence..a sullen riot penetrating through her mind...We...wait for a sign to smash the silence with the brick of self-control---Are you locked up in a world that's been planned out for you? Are you feeling like a social tool without any use? Scream at me until my ears bleed, I'm taking heed just for you--She...she's figured out..all her doubts are someone else's point of view..We...walking up to smash the silence with the brick of self-control--------
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"I'm really not that different, you just made me think so."

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My yesterdays....


Previous - I just want to know if I've got a chance. Next - The way things used to be
2003-11-14 - 11:02 a.m. - What do I have to do?

Ok, so, Wednesday I rented Terminator 3 and I called Joe (Gus's dad) and asked if he wanted to watch it with me then I went over there and we watched it (Gus was at work). Then Gus called and said he was coming home and asked what Joe was doing and Joe said watching Terminator 3 and Gus said "Must be nice" and Joe said we were only 15 minutes into it and we'd start it over, when in actuality we only had 15 minutes left. So I stopped the movie and we just talked while we waited for Gus. Then Gus had to take a shower so we went and got food. Then we came back and watched the movie. Gus thanked me for dinner and I went home.

I decided I would leave a day of not talking to either of them and then catch up with them on Friday but then Jerry called me yesterday afternoon. "Laura and I broke up and I need you to get in touch with my dad and brother and ask them to send me some money so I can get to Laredo." Jenn is torn between ecstatic and horrified. On the one hand she is happy because she can say, "I told you so" and on the other hand she realizes that Jerry is eventually coming back here and that ruins EVRYTHING. She worked so hard to finally get rid of him and then get to a point where she could hang out with Gus without Jerry and then...he wants to come back.

So I went out to dinner with my mom at Chili's and as we were leaving I swung by Gus's work and told him the story. He said he wouldn't give him any money. I was like, so do I tell him, "Gus has his own life and no money to spare for yours?" He said he couldn't have said it better himself. As I was leaving I told him to call me friday and he said, "Well what are you doing right now?" I said nothing but that I was about to go work out. He said his dad and he were renting a movie. I was like, "Is it Finding Nemo??" He said it was and I said, "Will you wait until I get done working out so I can watch it?" and he said he would. I worked out and then went over there and we watched it and then watched When Harry Met Lloyd which was all right but made me feel stupid afterwards. I left around 1. I guess he's supposed to call me today so we can move the furniture but I don't know if I have to work tonight or not. I mean, it'd be good for me but I just don't feel like it. Lee ants my hours and Tom said he could take them if someone came in early between 5 and 6. Maybe I will offer to work from 5-6 and that might work? Who knows. I would really like to get to talk to Gus. When I told him I was going to Uruguay he sort of had a somber reaction. I hope he knows that I am really doing it for him as well as for myself. I hope he knows that being away from him is the last thing I want to do but that it's what I need to do most. Maybe he will understand. Maybe.

Anywho, I hope to God my car is out of the shop soon. I hate having to carpool. No freedom.

Check you later,

Jenn

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