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She..she screams in silence..a sullen riot penetrating through her mind...We...wait for a sign to smash the silence with the brick of self-control---Are you locked up in a world that's been planned out for you? Are you feeling like a social tool without any use? Scream at me until my ears bleed, I'm taking heed just for you--She...she's figured out..all her doubts are someone else's point of view..We...walking up to smash the silence with the brick of self-control--------
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"I'm really not that different, you just made me think so."

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My yesterdays....


Previous - Make it stop. Next - I want to flip to the end and make sure it's a happy one.
2003-11-23 - 9:56 a.m. - There goes the neighborhood.

So yesterday, Saturday, Gus was to put my Euro lights on my car. I had to drive all over kingdom come to find some purple bulbs for my turn signal. I finally found them and then waited until Gus went to his work where he'd put them on. He finally called me so I headed over.

When I pulled up I had to drive by Brock who was cleaning or counting or something and he squatted by my car so that his head was about even with mine and he said, "Change your mind?" And I said, "About what?" and he said, "Dating a married man." I told him, "Sorry, don't date married men." He made another comment about not wearing rings and then I said, "Besides, I already have someone in mind."

"You like Gus?"

"Who wouldn't?"

"He's a cold fish, he got screwed over real bad. But he is a really good guy."

"I would wait years if that's what it took to be with a guy like him."

"It's going to take a long time."

"That's why I am going to Uruguay for 4 months, to give him some time and space."

Then somehow we got onto the subject of church of Christ and religion. I told him I knew the Bible backwards and forwards because my parents were greatly concerned with our Bible knowledge. He said, "Ok, what's Acts 2:38?" I said, "Oh, that one that says 'repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of your sins and you will receive the gift of the holy spirit.' " Now what really bothered me was how this guy went from asking me to be someone with whom he can cheat on his wife with to talking about religion. Then Gus came up.

Gus: You guys are talking about religion?

Brock: We were talking about you before and somehow we got to religion, figure that.

Now I realize that Brock is probably the worst person to have told that I like Gus but he was the one to ask me. Consequently while Gus was putting my lights on and I was sitting cross-legged on the ground his other boss guy came around and said to Gus, "I'm sorry, you can't do that, it violates our rule against lewd sex acts." Then Larry comes around and sees a handprint from where Gus shut my truck and spreads his hands on the back of my car and his legs and says, "It looks like someone was standing just like this.." Then as he went back to Gus he said something and then said, "We'll talk later." I hope I did not cause a lot of trouble.

Gus finished my car around 4:30 and I went to make cookies with his dad at his apartment and then we played video games and then watched Office Space and then played more video games and Gus finally came home around 11:30 and we watched the extended version of the Two Towers. I went home at 3:30. Gus stayed up the whole time and then I left.

"All right, woman, good night, drive safely.

So that is that.

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