News

-

"I'm really not that different, you just made me think so."

What's up?

---

mood:
now playing:
vocabulary:

My yesterdays....

• Que paso? - 2006-09-10

I know it is a little late to be finishing a to be continued entry, but I have been a bit busy. Ok, so, yeah, they dared me to do weird stuff and we had all sorts of great conversations. Tracey and I had a debate about whether appearances make some an individual or if someone who is truly an individual will stand out regardless of freak hair and clothing. I asked him if he thought I was different when he first saw me, and he said yes. I was in my work uniform and had natural colored hair and yet I looked like I stood out to him. That is why he came up and asked me what kind of music I listen to. That was not my aim. My problem is that I don�t want to look weird. I try to conform. I try to fit in. I try to be a part of a group and for the life of me I cannot succeed. But anyway, back to my story. Tracey and Eric and I drove around the mall parking lot talking and whatnot while Chris waited for me at the bar. I came back to drive him home and he ordered another beer. We ended up staying for like three more hours after that just talking and drinking(Chris).

At some point during the talking this guy who I worked with at the old McDonald�s on 96 stuck his out the door of the kitchen into the bar area and said hey. I was like, �Come here!� but he said he couldn�t. About fifteen minutes later this server comes to me with a plate of cheesecake on it and says it�s from Leny. I just about died. It was so sweet! So, I wrote my number on a napkin and told the bartender to send it back to him. I mean, I gave him my number three months ago and he never called me but he was also working two jobs and yada yada yada. But anywho, Chris and I kept talking and I started talking about my lack of confidence and social anxiety and he said he feels the same way. At some point he said something that just made my day. He was like, �Jenn, you seem to want guys who want you right away and I am telling you that you could have any guy you want if you just sit and talk with him. I really enjoy your company.� It seriously just made my whole existence. I had to have been glowing. I mean, it�s not a true statement really, but just the fact that a male I actually think is a great guy said it makes me smile.

Well, I was supposed to have quit Mickey D�s because I got pissed off on Friday but then they called today begging me to come in to work and I did. I really wanted to take food to Chris and Eric and Valerie before nightcrew, but I couldn�t get away and I felt really bummed. But then Juan and I were standing outside and who drives by? None other than Leny himself and I waved to him and he pulled into the parking lot. This was very ironic because earlier in the evening I had asked Juan if he knew him and Juan said yes. Friday night when he gave me the cheesecake I had mentioned him before seeing him as well. It�s like this psychic speak-of-the-devil thing. So he got out of his car and he had a friend with him and he looked so adorable. I asked him why he didn�t call and he took out his phone and said, �Look at number 22!� I smiled. He said my hair looked nice, asked how I was doing and why on Earth I was working at McDonald�s. It was fun. Juan was a little jealous since earlier that night he was like, �You�re my girlfriend, right?� I had kindly told him that I don�t date married men. He tried to convince me that as long as it was just me and his wife then it should be fine, no other girlfriends is fine. I don�t think he gets it. But anyway, he told me to put his number in my phone so I did and then he and his friend left and he said he hopes to see me again and I was just giddy as hell. He is such a sweet little boy and he�s either 18 or 19 and really I�d just like to hang out with him. I don�t need a boyfriend. I just need to know that I could if I were stable enough to sustain one. I feel�not so shitty. So, yeah. I trained at Pie in the Sky today and I work Wednesday night. Fun times. I gotta run.

Check you later,

Jenn