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She..she screams in silence..a sullen riot penetrating through her mind...We...wait for a sign to smash the silence with the brick of self-control---Are you locked up in a world that's been planned out for you? Are you feeling like a social tool without any use? Scream at me until my ears bleed, I'm taking heed just for you--She...she's figured out..all her doubts are someone else's point of view..We...walking up to smash the silence with the brick of self-control--------
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"I'm really not that different, you just made me think so."

What's up?

mood: apprehensive
now playing: BTE- desperately wanting
vocabulary: erudite

My yesterdays....


Previous - Pictures of my living conditions. Next - And when I feel like giving up like my world is falling down...
2002-09-11 - 5:07 p.m. - Hard to look anywhere but up from where I'm standing.

Our English Teacher(research English) read our bios aloud in class today. From the bios of people, I think I have found quite a few in that class with common interests. I even walked and talked with a girl all the way back to her dorm talking about books because her bio read that she was a Robert Jordan fan. I had noticed her at the Newspaper staff meeting and thought maybe we'd be friends but this gave me a -reason- to approach so there was very little room for rejection.

Then Jenna and Nicole waved to me from a blanket where they were doing homework and I talked to them some then dropped my backpack off and headed for the bathroom in the student center. On the way in Andrew called to me but I didn't want to wet myself so I rushed by with a terse wave. On the way out I stopped back and talked with him(he was in a group with Marsha(from my Bible class), Jadie(met him in random places), Benji(from my two English classes), and another guy Mathew who I did not know. We talked for so long that when I finally got back to the blanket, Nicole had gone. I got my stuff and headed in here for what I thought would be a quick checking of e-mail but has turned into something else. I love my new diary design and am just too eager to write the first entry originating with the design put into existence. How exciting.

I am not so bummed. I started the day thinking I would attack everything with an uplifting attitude and it's alright. It's working out a lot better than it was. Tomorrow may ruin it all but for now...I am content.

I went to the doctor's today and came home with a small pharmacy in my purse. They gave me so many free samples(yay for free samples) of zyrtec-d and nasonex. Evidently I have a eustacean(sp?) dysfunction which means the tube thingie connecting my ear, nose and throat does not work properly. No, I am not a hypochondriac--everything just really is wrong with me. So, she recommended an ear,nose and throat specialist that I need to see who can perhaps fix my partial deafness that occurs quite often. Fun times. It's always a great day when I realize that yet again I fail to be physically normal.

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